So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
