she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
