He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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