Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
