PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
