No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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