We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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