I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
