What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
