For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
