the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
