Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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