We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
