You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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