are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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