how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
