OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
