We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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