doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
