You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
