Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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