Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
