took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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