his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
