He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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