She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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