Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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