we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
