How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
