Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
