my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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