That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
