I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want to make a zoo with you.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
