Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
