Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
