is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
