My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
