YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
