So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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