yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
