what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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