don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Two words: blizzard sex
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
