3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
