So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
