My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
