I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
