i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my being single is dangerous.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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