Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
