oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
