rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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