stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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